Thursday, May 20, 2010

All in a day's work

I keep telling myself that I would try to blog every week so apparently my weeks are 30+ days long. What has been going on lately? I have a great happening but I will save it to the last. Aren't you lucky?

I haven't solved the problem with Asher's teacher. I really wanted to give her a piece of my mind but instead I am trying to teach my child about how to handle people in his life who "yell at him a lot". He's only 6 and I can still protect him but I think he would have done a disservice to him had I tried to rescue him in this situation. We pray every morning and he really does seems to be improving academically. Such a big boy!

As for Tobin, he is finally potty trained but still has an aversion to actually going to the bathroom in the potty.
I was not aware that this was a trait you can pass on to your children. I cannot stand to stop what I am doing to go to the bathroom. I would rather hold it until my bladder is to the point of bursting then relieve myself. So happy I could share that with him. Because he does not like stopping to go to the bathroom he is constantly touching himself. Which is super not embarrassing when in public.

Ok, so here is the story that will go down in history of stories for me. Jay was out of town so I took the boys to Chick-fil-A. I wasn't feeling all that great so I thought while they played I could rest a bit and then we could go home and all would be well. As I am watching the boys play, I notice that Tobin keeps touching himself. Several times I go in there and ask him if he needs to go potty and he adamantly explains no to me. Alright, not gonna make a scene. Finally it's time to go. I start putting Tobin's socks on and notice that they are wet, and so are his shoes and wait a minute, so are his pants. sweet Jesus in heaven control this kid's bladder!!! I grab his urine soaked items and start walking away. The kids follow me with Tobin crying about how he doesn't have any shoes and how he didn't pee his pants. I keep thinking to myself if I just pretend that this isn't happen I can make it through bath time then bedtime and all will be well. or so I thought.

I put the boys in the bath. They are getting along splendidly. I think to myself, whew...this is going to end good and then I can have some alone time. Suddenly, I hear Asher yelling. not from the bathtub but from the hallway. Why is he yelling and why is he not in the bath? Then the words coming out of his mouth register in my brain. "Tobin pooped in the bathtub. It's so gross." Telling myself that it was not a biggie, I'll just let the water out and grab the offensive items and be done with it. It will be all ok. I turn the corner to the bathroom....I see Tobin crying with his hand sticking out....I see......OH SWEET HEAVEN, JESUS COME BACK NOW! Please let that be mud...please let some miracle of a mud hole be present in the bathroom and Tobin was dipping his hands in it. Nope. No, it was not mud. It was bowel movement in all it's glory all over his hands, his legs, his bottom...but wait.......his shoulder and oh....did your ear itch, Tobin? FOR REAL?!

He's crying and screaming at me about his hands. All I can think is don't breath, don't think, just do something. I walk back and forth from the tub to the door, tub, door, tub, door. Tobin is pleading with me to do something, his eyes full of tears and all I can think about it is--do not vomit that would be worse to clean up and this is all Jay's fault.

I finally move into action and grab a washcloth and start to wash the tub. Yes, the tub. It was less dirty than my child. And it wasn't screaming at me. Ok, I should really get the boy cleaned up before something else itches or God forbid he touches me. I set up the poop scraping station and proceed. Tobin keeps crying and I start saying, "It's only mud, it's only mud, it's only mud" Tobin stops crying long enough to say, "It's only mud, mommy?" "NO, it's not mud it's poooooooooooopppppp all over your hands!!!!" This would have been a perfect moment to shake my fists in the air and yell "WHY, GOD WHY?" But I was at the poop scraping station and there is no time for that.

While I am scraping, Asher is behind me telling me how gross and it smells so bad and how disgusting. Yes, peanut gallery it is gross and smells horrific. thanks. funny little descriptive kid.

Scraping is done, washing Tobin's hands with antibacterial soap, then soap, then scrubbing his hands until skin is almost off is complete. Log removal, bleach cleaning and washing my hands so many times I need a gallon of lotion to bring back the moisture is complete.

I survived. I am super proud that I didn't gag. That is a huge achievement for me and Jay brought home dessert to help ease my pain. It's not his fault anymore....well not totally.


Mommmmmm said...

You know the saying, "what goes around comes around?" You did that! :-)

Charis said...

oh, so so so sorry. you deserve a super mom award for that one. funniest line of the story was how it was all jay's fault. hahahahahaha. so sorry to laugh at your trial. you survived, and for that i am amazed.

Nicole Franklin said...

Oh my gosh. Poop in the bathtub stories are the worst! I can really relate. I have had many a melt downs with actual tears over these events. Good for you that you did it! There should be some kind of grammy award or nobel peace prize for moms that have had to endure this.

Kristin said...

We've had poop in the tub too! And why does it happen when they're in there with the siblings? This was hysterical. And I'm sorry you had to endure that. :)

Jen Johnston said...

Hahaha about your mom's comment, Susie - too funny. Very unladylike of you, I might add. ;) You EXPECT these things from boys! Way to go, though, you definitely got some major Brownie points for that one. I have not yet earned this Brownie badge (knocking on wood).

hutch mom said...

you ARE a super mom! seriously! my son pooped in the tub & i made Ben clean it up...if he wasn't at home, it would TOTALLY have been his fault. i would HAVE left it until he got home :0)