I am so bewildered, perplexed, and just flabbergasted. In amazement and useless and unproductive. i feel like a failure and its not looking good from my belly button's perspective.
I love my son. love, love, love him. Love his outgoingness, his never meeting a stranger, polite as the most southern gentleman could be. He's gentle, and gracious and has the cutest dimples. For 5 or 10 minutes to the outside world this boy is a peach. But for me and now --his teacher, he is a whole different person. And I will go bald because of it.
I have read books, talked to friends, pleaded with God and am almost to the point of sacrificing a goat to get some help. We have timed out, talked it out, spanked it out, pleaded, taken away, yelled and even shed some tears but its not getting through. I don't want people's opinions, I want a person to come to my house and tell me all the things I need to change and then tell me how to change it.
I suffer from a justice "gift"... so i want to punish him. But then I think, you can't punish cuz that isn't God-like so I grace it up a bit to the point of no significant consequence.
I suffer from getting too riled up .... so i have to shut my mouth for fear of the kid needing counseling.
I suffer from too many early-childhood classes ... so i worry about his self-esteem.
I suffer from judging .... so I constantly think people are judging me.
I suffer from making a mistake .... so that God doesn't have a chance to redeem.
Its hard to bestow advice to someone when not only is the kid different than other kids, but the mom is different than other moms.
What's a girl to do? What's a mom to do when she already feels like she is failing?