Monday, October 13, 2008

a case of the Mondays.....

I absolutely love to "blog".  I used to be quite funny at it.  But then I read someone else's blog and this person seemed to type better than I and was more witty.  And the people that said I was hilarious said this person was hilarious.  And it deflated my balloon full of creativity.

But then I read a few friend's blogs and was encouraged again.  They are witty and type well and even have good breath.  That's a win-win situation.

I have noticed that when I believe in something, that is not the mainstream way of thinking, I feel as though I am on the defense. I am not sure why this is.  I feel like I have to justify why I feel the way I do.  And most of the time when people believe a certain way then they tend to surround themselves with people that believe the same way.  And then they start a colony and maybe even a commune and they eat corn from the stalk and braid each other's hair.  Okay, maybe I got carried away with the corn on the stalk...but if it were sweet corn it would make more sense.

I do not like politics.  I really don't like when people have to be so into "winning" people to their views.  Why can't we just say, hmmm...I never thought of it that way and that be that.  And then later when you aren't around them, you can say how crazy they are.  I mean really...isn't that how the South does it?  Or is it the North?  East?  Southwest? 

I am wondering how long I have to wait until I can poo in peace. It would seem as though that is such a small problem but it's not.  If the smell is knocking me out, how is it not knocking them out??

Today I had the baker lady cut some bread for me.  And she asked if i wanted another bag to put the bread in because she accidentally got some icing on it.  I said no and walked away.  What I really wanted to say was, "Dear God, woman!  Don't you know I will be sucking on the icing covered bag all through the store to get my sugar rush?"

The other day in the car, Tobin was screaming.  And we were all going crazy.  I turned around and Asher has his fingers intertwined with his head down.  I said, "you okay, buddy?"  He says, "yes, i am praying that Jesus will come!"

I LOVE being in my 30's.  I love knowing that I am finally figuring myself out.  I just hope that in my 40's, I will accept what I figured out.

I have a hard time balancing my life much less my spiritual life.  I really hope God knows how much I am aware of Him.  Like when I give Him a shout out whilst in the car driving (in Franklin and can manage to get just about anywhere in 15 minutes - HOLLA!!) or at night when I sing songs to my boys and tell them to dream of Him.  

Or just the small moments where I am so struck by His love for me that I stop mid-stride.  

I do think He knows, understands, and is pleased.  

God and I have our own language.  

I tend to do more of the talking because 

sometimes, in the quiet moments, 

when I think He's about to tell me something... 

...I fear my heart might explode.

So I take His face in my hands and kiss His nose and our eyes meet.

Because I know...HE is very aware of me.

And He looks at me and smiles because

HE knows...that I am very aware of His presence 

and most certainly aware of His unending love for me.


Anonymous said...

YES!! You finally have a blog site. I am soooo excited! I'm subscribing right now!

Anonymous said...

Please pull the gag out of your mouth. We need what you know. (and it is funny BTW). You should check out another hysterical but not redeemed blogger named Rachel Lucas. She's a hoot. Leilani