Thursday, January 10, 2008

a few tidbits...

I looked up the definition of tidbit and a synonym is titbit. Let's just say i laughed out loud on that one

This morning asher was coughing as if trying to hack up a hairball and i said to him, "Asher, you are about to cough up a lung. What would you do if you did?"
He said, "I would throw up all over you."
I replied, "Gee, why would you do that?"
"I don't want to let you down"
"Puking all over me would let me down, sport. Not puking would be something short of a miracle"

I was brushing my teeth the other day, (yes honey, i really do), and I couldn't find my toothbrush but only a clean, un-used children's toothbrush was sitting on the counter so i made a move and started brushing with it. It was a dream sequence that followed. I was able to brush each tooth individually. I think my teeth were singing some crazy song. And for some reason they sound like munchkins to me. I could even get the back of my teeth with ease instead of fighting the, what now seems goliath, "adult" toothbrush. I strongly recommend getting a child toothbrush. Or perhaps having a bigger mouth than SIZE people not capacity in sheer volume of sound.

If you want the a big laugh and a guffaw go here or copy and paste

I have decided that when I build a house I am going to build a HUGE laundry room, like those in martha stewart and pottery barn, even though i think to myself "that's bigger than my bedroom and my garage. Face it its bigger than a small island." And then I would build closet with drawers and just put the kids clothes in there. Because right now, all their clean and folded clothes (applause needed), are in baskets in our room and 90% of the time they never get upstairs to their room. And then when the kids are old enough to put their clothes away, I will make that room my own personal spa and put the washer and dryer in the kids room.

So there is this situation where this person comments while typing in all caps. I don't know why caps is a no-no for me. It makes me all jittery and makes my heart start beating harder than working on a treadmill. Its the feeling of speeding and then seeing a cop and then waiting to see if they are going to pull you over.

so anywho, she commented and it looked like this: HI HOW ARE YOU DOING? ITS A MIGHTY FINE DAY TODAY!! (she didn't really say that. its called PARAPHRASING or MADE UP! - cant you feel your heartbeat racing right now? )

So I made a comment and said is somebody yelling cuz i didn't do it. then she messages me personally and said that she wasn't yelling but that she was busy. and it got me thinking....busy? busy? too busy to take the caps off...then i thought. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THE CAPS ON IN THE FIRST PLACE? And I literally thought in all caps. people are so strange.

Here are a few things that I realized is good when you are a mom....
a. nose of a bloodhound. I can literally walk into a room and know that one of my children, or yours, has pooped. i feel that this is a good thing. but its not a good thing when you are trying to pretend that you don't smell it so your husband might smell it first and you can feign, the old " i don't smell a thing"

b. listening skills. I have found out that i am always listening. And not really listening to anyone talking to me, but I am listening for cries, whimpers or flat out screams. Even if I seem to make them up in my head. I will jump out of bed thinking i hear one of the boys, and realize it was me.

I am also constantly listening for, and in no particular order; UPS, DHL or FedEx packages on my doorstep, Ed McMahon with my check, a nanny that is cheap and her name is Mary Poppins, a knock on the door of someone who wants to buy our house, cleaning people who want to clean for free and who actually clean, Jars of Clay band members because I have a secret crush on their music, last but not least, I really hope the cast of Friends gets lost and has to knock on my door and then I would invite them in and force them to reenact every scene from Friends. But come on, why would the Friends cast be in the town of Fairview unless they were looking for the Dollar Store AND Fred's Pharmacy right next to each other? Cuz if they were they would have found it here!!!

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