Friday, May 11, 2007

Startle and Cry

My 8 month does not sleep through the night. Why? I have no clue. But here are the steps that I go through to try to solve this puzzle.

If baby wakes up crying:
***Wait 5 minutes to see if said baby will realize that its dark outside and inside his room and perhaps logically think to himself, gee...I am tired. where's my thumb? Awwww...there it is. G'night.

If baby does not return to dreamland try the following:
***Change diaper. There is nothing more miserable then sitting in a poopy diaper. And coming into a close second is the diaper with just the right amount of pee to irritate even the laid back baby.
***After changing diaper, hold baby and rock, oh so slightly, so as not to get baby attached to any movement. Wait for the heavy feeling of head before slowly lowering baby into crib. If your back hurts and you cannot bend (like mine did the other night), gently tossing baby into crib will more than likely cause baby to startle and cry like a madman. Start over.
***While baby lays on your chest, rubbing eyes and making weird noises....DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT think about what time it is (2:30am) or you will start to close your eyes while rocking baby and then suddenly realize that you cannot stand up and close eyes at the same time because you start to lose your balance. And this too will startle baby and create the crying sequence all over.

Here are some of my thoughts about why my boy, Tobin, wakes up:

Teething - I proceed to rub numbing stuff on his teeth (secretly hoping it has a sleep aid in it). I am hoping that this will work in 5 seconds because that is about where my patience meter is. It does not.
Bad dream - For this I pray and cast out all demons within a 100 miles of our house. I keep thinking that if this is it, Tobin will sigh and return to blissful slumber. He does not.
Gas - while he is laying on my chest, I hear a burp. So I start to pat his back. But since I am still trying to slowly rock him and close my eyes, I lose my balance and pat his head instead. Startle and cry.

I have read the Baby Whisperer and how she goes to people's houses and puts those kids to bed. In the middle of the night, I honestly think to myself that she might be interested in coming to my house. That I am special enough for her to jet from England to Tennessee to help rescue me from the child who wakes up. I have the email already written.

Dear Baby Whisperer,
I need help. I am tired. Come to my house and teach my baby to sleep. Come now. Do you take Visa? Tired in TN, Susie


All in all I can't figure it out and I just do the one thing I have that will cure most any crying baby....I give him the boob. And thus the cycle has started and perhaps that is why he wakes up in the middle of the night.

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