Thursday, January 25, 2007

anyone need a vacuum??

After three days of being completely sick with strep and not wanting to move a muscle and then suddenly feeling better, I decide to clean my rhino dustball filled house. I go get the broom, start to sweep and think...hmmmm. I bet the DC-14 Dyson vacuum cleaner could do a faster job than this stupid sweeping. Besides I sweep everything into a pile and use the vacuum to suck it up anyway. Why not eliminate the middle man?

So I vacuum and dust with this magnificent machine. I get the baseboards, the windowsills, the crevices and any known notch in the door where dust might be having a party. It brings me back to the movie Mr. Mom. If you haven't seen it, you should. Its a classic. How he creatively cleans the breakfast table by grabbing the tablecloth filled with dishes and puts them into the washing machine. All the women watching chuckle and think oh that crazy Michael Keaton (who in my opinion was the best batman to date). When really they are thinking...dang..if only!!!

Could you imagine having one machine that you throw everything into it and push the right cycle and WALAH? We are talking about living in the Jetson days. Asher has sticky fingers from shoving his fingers and one tiny tiny piece of pancake in his syrup...throw him in the machine. Add a little bedtime soap and he's got his bath all done. Tobin spit up on his clothes for the 18th time today, no problem. baby and clothes go in. the dog smells from "rescuing" a skunk, only to have it die on the steps and smell the place up. Throw the dog in there. Hubby reeks of cigar smoke. Hop in babe, see ya in a minute. Then of course I would make the machine take the fat away. Especially after I ate 2 boxes of hot tamales and spoonfuls of hot chocolate mix. The setting on the machine would say fat release...1 pound or 2? Maybe it should say 5 pounds or 6? Who wants to climb in this giant machine a bunch of times a day? Awww to dream...

Have you ever tried to type the slang you say every now and again? Like bound and determined. Now that I type it, it is positively the most ridiculous thing to type. To say it? Eh who cares.

Have you ever wondered who invented the way to type? Like your index finger on your left hand is supposed to hit the 'y' key or is it the other way around? Who thought this up? A bunch of people sat in a room and threw letters on the ground and that is where the stayed on the keyboard. Why are the letters so construed and in no certain order? At least the keyboard isn't like texting on a cellphone. Which usually ticks me off so bad that most of my messages look like this.."u r t c!" rock the casbah! Is it my problem that people can't interpret?

Well the dust rhino just started nibbling on my toe. I must kill. Hope you all are having a great day and that you all receive an unexpected check in the mail.

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