Monday, April 4, 2016

That One Night...

On April 9th it will be one year ago that I learned that; I am a fighter, a screamer, I can say no, I have some compassion, and I can survive.  I have many emotions thinking about this day and I probably will never stop but I don’t live in fear.  I will also keep my humor at every turn which makes for a good story.  I want to re-tell the story, my way, with all my humor and bad grammar.  I feel like I have worked through this trauma with a fantastic counselor and did it in a healthy way.  So I am not in denial of what really happened.  But this is my story, and I can tell it how I want.  Enjoy!

It was a dark and stormy night.  It wasn’t but I think that intro is fantastic.  It was a Thursday, Jay was out of town and my mom was home with my boys (she lives with us in case you didn’t already know that).  There was a get together with some moms who have upcoming 6th graders.  We were talking all about what school will be like, what to expect, how to cope and so forth.   At around 9:30pm, my friend, Kelly and I were driving home talking about how people seem to think that Franklin is void of crime and perhaps paved in gold. Which is ironic given what I am about to tell you.  When I pulled up to Kelly’s house, I noticed that her neighbors were in the process of moving out and then a few minutes later while we were talking, I noticed that a car was parked by my driveway in front of my neighbor’s house.  (figure A)


After dropping Kelly off, I drove to my house and passed by the car not thinking much about it and proceeded to pull into my garage.  I normally shut the garage door as I am entering the house but for some reason I closed it from my car.  As I grabbed my phone, exited my car and started toward the house, the garage door started to come back up as if something got in the way.  I was perplexed.  As I walked out, I noticed that somebody ducked down behind our garbage can.  I thought somebody was trying to be funny.  That was when I noticed a guy come towards me with fabric wrapped around his nose and mouth and had a gun pointed to my face.  And then the other guy behind that garbage can came towards me with a gun pointed at me as well.

I am somebody who enjoys a fake plan for every scenario.  I have to say that I had a carjacking scenario all planned out in my head.  What I would do or say but I did not have a scenario that included two masked guys at my house, pointing a gun to my head.  I guess I should have but, alas, I did not.  It’s amazing to me how many thoughts can run through your brain in a split second; Is this really happening to me?  Are you kidding me?  Can I prophesy to them?  Can I make them go away?  What the hell are they doing at my house?  Is this for real?  Is this a dream?  

Guy on the right will be played by Glob and guy on the left will be played by Blob.

Glob: Gimme your money!
Me: No!  Please leave.

I actually had cash in my car.  I never had cash so I was feeling a little protective over that.  Glob points gun at my head and I slap it down thinking, hmmmm probably shouldn’t have done that.  But seriously, I HATE things in my face.

Glob: Who’s in the house?
Me: My mom and my kids.
Glob: You are going to take us inside the house.
Me: No, I’m not.  Please just leave.

I noticed that Glob and Blob were very jittery.  I am not sure if my “No!” responses caused this or that they were newbies.  Either way, this wasn’t fun.  All this time my phone was in my left hand and I kept trying to unlock it to dial 9-1-1, although now I know there is an emergency button on the lock screen so you don’t have to unlock it before you dial 9-1-1.   

Both of them moved towards me with their guns pointed and grabbed my left hand.  I thought they were going for my phone which made me mad, because I had JUST restored the stupid thing and it was a pain and I didn’t want to get a new phone and have to do it again.  I quickly pulled my hand back and they grabbed it again.  But not to look at the phone, but my ring.  Again I pulled my hand back.  They grabbed my right hand where I have a thumb ring.  I searched high and low for this thumb ring and finally found one that would fit my thumb.  So I was not so eager to give this beauty up.

Glob: Gimme your ring.
Me pulling my hand away:  No!  It’s a $10 ring from Etsy is this what you want??  Please just leave.  Just walk away and leave.

Glob points gun at my head and I, again, slap it down.
Glob:  Close your garage door.

I was getting pretty ticked off at this point.  Emotions are a tricksy bitty. 
Very sarcastically, I said: And where would you like me to do that?  From my car or by the back door?

Blob:  Just shoot her!!

At this time Glob, tried to pull back on the gun to cock it and the clip fell out.  If this situation wasn’t so nuts, I would have laughed out loud.  I have been around guns my whole childhood so seeing one wasn't a big shock.  And I have shot a few too so I know when a clip falls out, that the holder of the gun doesn't quite know what he's doing.  Which isn't a good thing. He proceeded towards me with the gun pointed at me.  He backed me in between my car and my mom’s car and gently pushed me so that I was facing my car.  See picture below.


At this moment, was when I finally asked myself, “Is this how I am going to die?”

Glob pushed my left hand up to the car and studied my wedding ring again.  I could feel the gun pressed into my back, and I would say a little hard because it was starting to hurt.

He then proceeded to grab my ring from my finger.  I LOVE my ring but it’s not a huge diamond that blinds people so I am not sure what they were thinking.  And you would literally have to pry my ring off my dead fingers because this ring is not going anywhere.  I curled my hand into a ball, tucked it into my stomach and bent over all the while he was trying to get it off.   Since I thought I was already going to die, I thought well now is the time to scream.  And that I did.  Somehow I managed to fall to the ground, and that persistent Glob, just kept trying to grab that ring and now jabbed the gun into my belly. 

Unbeknownst to me, a neighbor, Mike, was out walking his dog and heard screaming.  He noticed their car parked in the street and thought perhaps something was going on in the car.  As he walked towards it he saw Blob come out of my garage with a mini dirt bike and pointed the gun at him.  Mike put his hands in the air and backed away, went home and called 9-1-1.

So I am still wrestling with Glob, screaming out for Jesus to save me, when I think…Balls!!  Hit him in the balls?  So I reached out to what I thought was his jewels and tried to grab.  As I was grabbing and screaming, several things came to mind; I don’t want to hurt him (more on that later) and sooooooooo grosssssssss!!!  I released said balls.

It would seem that my screaming was annoying him so he put his hand over my mouth and I shook that away so what’s the next best thing?  Put his hand in my mouth.  Perfect, I can bite him!  So I tried to bite and then thought I don’t want blood in my mouth, so I stopped the biting. 

That’s when I heard our recycling bottles make a noise and heard my mom yell my name.  I can’t imagine what she thought when she innocently opened the door to see why I wasn’t coming in.  She told me that when she saw the horror on my face, she knew something wasn’t right.  Everything happened so quickly.  I got up and ran towards the door and kept yelling at my mom to call the cops.  I don’t know where Glob went.  All I know is that I wanted my mom and I inside the house and away from these guys. 

As I went inside the house, I completely collapsed while my mom called 9-1-1.  Asher must have heard the commotion because he came downstairs and sat next to me.  He rubbed my arm and kept saying that everything was going to be okay and that God was here with me.  Seriously, don’t I have an amazing kid??

The cops must have been on their way when my neighbor called them because they arrived pretty quick.  Everything was such a whirlwind.  Police officers coming in and asking questions, my neighbor trying to find out what the heck was going on. 

My mom had called Jay and Jay called some good friends that came over immediately.  The officers were asking if anything was stolen so we looked around the garage and counted the bikes, Jay’s dirt bike and motorcycle were there.  And then finally figured out it was Asher’s little dirt bike, that had a flat tire and was too small for Asher.  With all of Jay’s tools they could have grabbed…they stole an old, small dirt bike.  Enjoy that one boys!

I’ll let Jay fill in his side of the story……
I had just landed in Houston and it was after 9pm. I got my rental car and was headed on the interstate over to my hotel near Houston Independent school district. I was thinking how tired I was but I should probably eat dinner or something. While driving I got a call from Judy which I thought was strange that she would be calling me. But Susie was out with her friends so I thought maybe something was wrong with the boys. She didn't say hello or anything but just said Susie had been beaten up by two men with guns. I couldn't make out what she was saying and asked her what happened. She said two men attacked her in the garage trying to rob her. 

My heart stopped. I honestly don't remember what happened next. I think I talked to Susie but she was sobbing. But I don't remember. The next thing I remember is I needed to get home. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to do next as my mind was racing and I was driving on the intestate. I knew getting a flight out would be tough so I pulled off the road and started trying to make phone calls and figure out what airport to go back to in order to get out. All I knew is I needed to be at home. 

I drove at over 100 to Bush International and pulled up only to find the airport closed. No flights. I couldn't leave. I called back and I think I talked to Judy and Susie. I don't remember. I knew she was alive and wasn't hurt too bad though. But she was hurting and it killed me I couldn't get home. I got the first flight out the next morning and went to the hotel near the airport. I didn't sleep much. I think I got two hours of sleep knowing it would be a rough day. And I'd need to be strong for Susie.

I talked to Susie but I honestly don't remember that night except for staring at that hotel bed so mad I wasn't at home. Helpless. I felt helpless and like I'd let her down. I was so mad so angry at those kids that they took advantage of my wife. She had told me more about it by that point so I knew she had held here own. I had updated Facebook for our neighborhood as it was a buzz at this point. Unreal. 

I do remember calling our good friend to be at the house and watch over it so Susie could sleep while I was gone.

Life is so crazy and so many crazy things can happen.  And lucky me, I am apart of one such crazy event.  I still can’t believe this happened.  It seems like a dream or some movie I watched.  And I was very surprised how I responded.  I knew I had some fight in me but I would never have thought that I would fight back with my words whilst a gun was    pointed at me.  I also never knew I could actually have compassion for people that I don’t know and who want to cause me harm.  I don’t know why I didn’t fight back more, or why I didn’t try to hurt them.  I am extremely happy that I have compassion and didn’t go all violent.  Who knows if that would have made the situation worse? 

A lot of people have asked me why I didn’t just give them what they want?  Where would it have stopped?  I give them cash, then they want something else, and then they want to come inside the house.  So no, I am glad I did not give in.  It’s my money (and Jay’s) not somebody who thinks they have a right to it because they feel more powerful with a gun.  I have a job, so It’s my money, my car, my things and I am not parting with it.

It definitely took some time to work through all the emotions but things are going well.  And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about what happened; most of the time, I think….oh wow, I was robbed by gunpoint, how strange.  And some days, I’ll think to myself how happy that I didn’t think about the robbery all day and then bam, I just did. 

I am amazed looking back and seeing that God protected me, the boys and my mom.  This situation could have ended up badly and lives could have easily been lost.  No, I do not think that this was God's will or any of that religious poop.  I think there are people who make bad choices which happens to bleed into every day life.  I am thankful for His protection.
I don’t wish anything but better opportunities for these boys.  I felt this way right after it happened and I still feel the same.  I am saddened that they felt like robbing people was an okay option in life.  And I wish they would get caught so I could prophesy the Jesus right in them.  

I am thankful, blessed and full of umph.  Watch out!

Friday, September 28, 2012

My Day on ADHD Medication

Every morning I have a routine.  I take my pill and my son's ADHD pill out and we take it at the same time.  But this morning started out crazy and apparently is going to stay that way for a bit.  I got his pill and put it on the counter and poured his milk and then a black hole showed up in my kitchen.  So, of course, I stuck my head through it and when I returned the realization that I had just swallowed the wrong pill hit me.  Well, this isn't good.  (And no, Asher did not take mine, he can tell the difference between pills).

Do I throw up (no amount of money would cause me to do this on purpose)?  Do I eat bread?  That helps right?  What do I do?  Panic.  Yes, panic is the most appropriate and completely sane reaction.  Okay maybe panic isn't right and frankly, I don't have time.  I have to get the kids ready for school and on that bus.  So I don't think anything about it.  Until I walk home from the bus stop.  I had been at the bus stop for about 30 minutes talking with a friend so the medication was in my system for almost an hour.  I walk in the house thinking that I am so out of shape.  My heart is racing and I only walked 3 houses away from my own.  What is my problem?  Oh...and why is my arm tingling?  Oh well.

Then I tell my hubby and he asks if he should come home.  Well, I don't think so.  Then my mom expresses concern.  Is there something I should know?  Besides the obvious--DO NOT TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S MEDICATION.

I call the pharmacist.  It goes like this:
"Soooooo, I sort of took my son's medication."
"You did what?"
"I accidentally took my son's medication.  It was a rough morning!"

The pharmacist says I should be fine, but if I start to feel funny I should go to the ER.  Funny, eh?  Define funny.  Is my heart racing feeling funny?  Are my hands shaking part of feeling funny?  If I cannot focus on a simple task feeling funny?  Losing my filter when that feeling funny?  What about the constant feeling of wanting to throw up?  Which could possibly be from not eating anything all day long.  Heightened senses?  I think I can hear a bee from a mile away.

Anywho, I think I'll make it.  I am way better if I just sit.  The minute I start walking is when I notice it more.  I am pretty positive that I do not suffer from ADHD.  That makes me happy.  My heart racing and being anxious...does not.  Soon this day will be over and I can get back to my sluggish self.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A night of remembering...

Jay and I celebrated ten years this last Friday. And it a fabulous night.  Jay took control of all the planning and wouldn't let me lift a finger and this is what he did...

I dropped the boys off at a friends, who volunteered to watch the boys for the night, and went home to get ready.  And man did I look good.  :)  At 6'oclock we were ready to go to the secret destination #1.  He told me he was taking us to a memorable place that changed our lives forever.

It's where we were married!  Natchez Trace bridge in Franklin is a very significant place for us and we wanted it to be apart of our wedding. young!

Jay had flowers waiting for me.  They were daisies which is what my bouquet was in my wedding.  Super thoughtful and very romantic!

We reminisced about that wonderful day ten years ago and then went off to surprise #2.

We arrived at the Factory to enjoy some good food from Saffire.  As we were walking towards the restaurant, Jay was telling me how when we were married we were surrounded by friends and as we celebrate our tenth, we should be surrounded by friends.  My dear friends who I harassed to give me clues to what Jay was doing, who told me to text them when I found out what he was doing and who volunteered to watch my boys while we went out were there at the restaurant!  I was so thrilled to be with my friends, enjoy food and to celebrate our tenth! 

Thank you to my wonderful friends for avoiding my questions and taking the time to celebrate with us!  I am blessed beyond words to have you all in my life!  xoxox

We had a great time eating and laughing but it was time for dessert.  I was going all out for this!  We all ordered dessert and suddenly this crazy cake landed in front of me!  Oh my's a replica of the cake we had at our wedding!!  A Mad Hatter cake!!  And um, Jay what are you doing on your knee?  Jay got down on one knee and said...Well I don't really know what he said because he had a diamond ring in his hand and that's all my brain was computing.  diamonds...I see sparkly.  I'm sorry, Jay, were you saying something?

I was so happy and elated how wonderfully romantic my husband is and how I am the luckiest girl on the planet to have found him.  But wait, there's more!  Not just a night of splendor with an amazing husband but also a night at a bed and breakfast!!  Say what?!  You heard me.  My husband ROCKS!

I had the MOST amazing night with the most wonderful surprises and I only teared up once.  I think it was the sparkly diamonds blinding me which then caused tears to form.  I cannot wait to spend another 80 years with this man.  I know that is physically impossible but if that means cryogenically frozen for eternity, then move over Walt Disney, we are taking your place! 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Oh To Be Thankful

Being thankful seems to be the running theme for my friends, book club and church the past couple of weeks.  Not that this is a new concept or anything it just seems to really be on people's hearts lately.  So I have decided to share how I am thankful for everything that was thrown at me the past few days.

My big man woke up on his 8th birthday with a fever and a nasty cough.  And here are the things I am thankful for...

I am thankful that all the hours spent the night before baking cupcakes and putting goody bags together for his party is all done and I don't have to do it again when the party is rescheduled.

I am thankful that we tasted the cupcakes the day when the party was supposed to be and realized they tasted like something we should never give to somebody for free.

I am thankful that my son is alive, that my Saturday which was scheduled to be rushed and stressful was relaxing and quiet while my sick boy laid on the couch and took several naps.

I am thankful that we have a doctor we can take our son to on a Sunday.  I am thankful that because he had the flu, he could now be quarantined to his room and I no longer needed to be fearful of the germs lurking downstairs.

I am thankful that he likes to watch shows on the computer because I was able to do 5 loads of laundry.

I am thankful that when my youngest son woke me up at 3:30am on Monday morning he didn't lurk over me and scare the bejonkers (its a real word) but gently laid his head on my bed telling me he didn't feel good.

I am thankful that he woke up with a fever while at home and not at school.  No need spreading this stuff around.

I am thankful that he threw up twice in the bucket I set out for him because momma DOES NOT do throw up.

I am thankful that when he did miss the bucket I had enough sense to put gloves on, hold my breath and use the carpet cleaning machine to clean it up.  I was 5'7" away from the puke.

I am thankful that one child played on the iPad while the other on the laptop and they were happy.

I am thankful for the 1000 times I went up and down the stairs because I have now done my exercise for the day.

I am thankful that my oldest can chat with me to tell me that he needed me while I was downstairs so he wouldn't wake up his brother.

I am thankful that after every request he typed out he then told me that he loved me.

I am thankful that after my oldest woke up from his nap he asked me to come upstairs because he wanted to hug and kiss me.

I am thankful that I finished the laundry.

I am thankful that I have a boss that understands when kids get sick

I am thankful that I handled a curve ball.  And handled it well I might add.

I could focus on all that happened this past weekend and could have been really angry for my boys being sick.  But what's the point?  Being thankful changed my perspective, gave me the energy to go on and gave me the peace I needed to help my boys.  This being thankful stuff is amazing!

*please forgive my many grammar and/or spelling errors.  Instead be thankful you can read.  heehee

Thursday, February 23, 2012

What I have realized this month...

This month has been heart wrenching, mind blowing and eye opening.

My hubby and I joke around that I might be coming down with a case of dementia.  Unless something very specific catches my eye, I won't remember any of the details.  My brain can only take so much input.  And the other day, I figured out why.

I was headed to work listening to Easy Listening when Air Supply comes on the radio.  I think to myself, "Awesome!  I loved them when I was a kid!"  I start humming and then realize that I know EVERY word to this song.  I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you....  I even know when the pitch changes in the chorus.  I know this song word for word, note by note.  Could this possibly be what is causing my brain to malfunction with real important stuff that I should be memorizing to this? Am I destined to mumble on my deathbed the lyrics to Easy Listening music? I even know the lyrics to a Basia song that is playing on the supermarket radio.  A band that my brother listened to while I was growing up.  I literally have a musical in my head at all times.  All it needs is a few notes and away we go!  And just in case you are saying, "Basia who???"  Here is a link: Basia - Time and Tide.

Why, oh why, did my mother never tell me about things I am discovering?  Such as you will continue to have more and more peach fuzz on your face and neck as you get older.  You might not think this is a big deal but it is.  Especially when you are at the orthodontist and they are adjusting a wire in your mouth with a tool and while they are tightening the tool it inadvertently grabs onto some facial hair and rips it out.  I mean, seriously, how long does this peach fuzz have to be to get trapped in an orthodontic tool? What is going on?

I always wanted to be the cool mom where all the kids could come over and play and have loads of fun.  But no, I am the mom that doesn't have junk food in the house and doesn't have refrigerator boxes sitting in my massive storage room waiting to be turned into a rocket.  (I don't actually know a mom like this but I am sure they are out there).  We do have have a trampoline but I am the mom that kicks off the random neighbors that show up in our backyard because, Gosh darn it, you cannot rough house on our trampoline.  Mean mom!!

I have prayed more this past year over my oldest than I pray for my husband to surprise me with a newer car.  And if you know me personally you will realize that that is A LOT.  My son is my different little bird.  Who teaches me grace, acceptance and how to be a momma lion.  I have not mastered any of this but I am learning to fight with my heart and hopefully a little love is attached to that.  What I really want to do is shake those who don't get it.  Shake them until they start seeing my boy for who he really is, who he is going to become and encourage that.  Not his test scores.  And then I will shake myself so I can take a deep breath and realize that, inside, I am just a little girl who is trying to figure things out.  One day at a time.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My New Year's Resolutions

I would like to rename resolutions to be called attempts at doing something or being different or just plain crazy talk.

Attempt at change #1 -
I would like to sing more.  I don't mean sing well, I mean just sing.  And preferably this singing will be replacing the constant yelling or PG13 cursing I find myself saying when I am uber frustrated.  I want my kids to remember their childhood by saying to their friends:  "oh yeah, my mom used to start singing songs for no apparent reason.  I think she really likes musicals or something."  When the boys are constantly screaming at each other they will suddenly hear, "I got the moves like Jagger, I got the mooOOOoooooooOOOoOOOooves like Jagger."

Attempt at change #2 -
I would like to blog more.  Not for me but for the fans.  Who am I kidding?  It's for my mom, who actually is my fan so it's a win-win.

Attempt at change #3 -
I would like to take a writing class.  I would also like to take a grammar class that includes but is not limited to: punctuation insertion rules, tenses and how to properly talk or is it speak?  See what I mean?

Attempt at change #4 -
I would like to cut myself some parenting grace.  I am tired of comparing my children to others and compare my parenting to others.  Frankly, I think it's too early for the comparing.  It's when they are adults that we can start to compare.  I really want to be able to say that the hours my children spent watching Phineas and Ferb did not harm their brains.  Why, in fact, they do know how to read and yes, they did get into an Ivy League college but decided to go to college near their parents so their mom could still wash their clothes.  What about your kids???

Attempt at change #5 -
I would like to like people more.  Never mind, I can tell you right now that is not going to happen.

Attempt at change #6 -
I would like to stop being me and be more like you.  Think about that one for a bit.

I am going to leave those attempts at 6.  Six is a good number.  It's even and it's divided by 2 and 3 so yay!!  I hope anyone who reads this has a fantastic year.  Where dreams and wishes come true or is that only in Disney?  Anywho...dream away people!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Dear Teacher

Dear Teacher of one of my most precious boys,

I am sure that you started your 15th year of teaching this year thinking that it was going to run smooth and easy.  Fortunately, you have my son in your class.  And by now, I hope you have come to realize that your world has been and will never stopped being rocked.

Here are a few tips for you going into your 2nd semester:

1. My son may not be the brightest in his class (for now) but his obvious love for people should certainly overshadow that.  It might help if you hugged him back when he hugs you for the tenth time in ten minutes and not act like physical contact is a disease.

2.  I know he may focus on one thing for long periods of time instead of finishing the 20th paper of the same problems that you shove in his face, but if he should ever become a surgeon and you have a hole in your heart and you need the BEST surgeon possible.  His focus and determination would be an exceptional talent to have.  Perhaps you should touch your heart every now and then to remind yourself.

3.  Maybe he does talk out of turn.  But at least you know what he is thinking at the exact moment he is thinking it.  For all you know, Jimmy Bob could be thinking about how to build a bomb but you love him because he is so quiet.  It's the quiet ones you should be worrying about.

4.  I know you aren't married and you don't have kids and I am sure you don't like when people point that out.   But understand this, that is my son.  My flesh and blood in your class room.  A huge piece of my heart sitting in the seat waiting for you to teach him and most importantly, take care of him.  I have entrusted you to these things.  Keep that in mind when I want to know how my son is doing throughout the day.  I don't want to know every time he didn't sit down or talked out of turn.  I want to know that he was safe and happy and that he learned something.  And that you did everything you could to make that happen.

I hope those little tips help you through the rest of the year.

the mother of an amazing, smart, funny, kind, gentle and loveable boy